Monday, 27 July 2015

Fiz on tacos, choc cakes, and online dating sites

Donna Hay's molten peanut butter and
 chocolate fondant cakes
I had forgotten how good tacos tasted, and chicken skewers, and all those other yummy child-friendly food.  It’s been a wonderful treat having my grandson staying this past week. It has certainly kept me on my toes: school lunches, homework and making sure he is in bed on time. It made it easier having my son and his partner staying too:  my grandson had fun with them and it meant I could still nick out to yoga and the like.

I had also forgotten about the feeling of fierce love and protectiveness that the trust of a child engenders. Trying not to fuss—he is eleven years old— but worried about him not keeping the bedcovers on, what he is accessing on line, having a good day at school.  He is rather cool though and was kind to me. He is off to high school next year. I feel a pang when I think about him leaving behind the ‘boy’ years.  At the moment, I only laugh at the occasional ‘neeeeer I don’t know’.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Fiz's dressing table

I am not much into cleaning but the arrangement of jewellery and bric-a-brac on my dressing table had deteriorated into a dusty jumble. I needed to set it right. I put it off, lingering over the weekend paper, luxuriating in the absence of work-day rush, but it was annoying me so I set to work.  I cleared everything off and started to polish—and suddenly I was sixteen and listening to 4IP with my cousin Di.

It was cleaning the dressing table on a Saturday morning that did it because it was the same dressing table that my cousin and I cleaned on Saturday mornings all those decades ago. I became immersed in memories of the time that we shared a room together.

Monday, 20 July 2015

Naz: Celebration of life

The enormity of death can be felt in a heart.  When one stops beating another breaks.

Celebration is not on the radar when grief takes a hold. Instead, there is time to mourn the loss— permission to wallow shamelessly in sadness—to share with others the void that a person’s passing has left in your life.   Why shy away from our own mortality or ignore our fragility? Could it be more healing to face death courageously and with softness, vulnerability and reverence for this gift of life with its own unique existence—to truthfully acknowledge the reality of death and cradle, for some time, the sadness.

Why avoid the initial feelings of loss and pretend to be happy, because

Monday, 13 July 2015

Fiz: Grand finale

I greeted one of the Coolum Communicator members
before the meeting the other night and asked him about his day. He said that he had officiated at a funeral. ‘So it has been a sad day’. ‘Oh no!’, he  replied ‘it was a celebration of life’.

Mmmmm I get it about the importance of recounting tales of a person’s life and what that person has meant to those attending a funeral. I love hearing details about a person, and laughter at the funny bits seems totally apt. But what is so wrong with sad. Funerals are one of the few places where it is (or was) ok to express sadness—loss. The person is dead. They are not coming back. It would seem fitting to mourn the loss—to not be joyful. Where but at a funeral can there be mass support for grief? I mean, we have plenty of opportunities for celebrations. This is the one time when we can be sad with people feeling the same emotion and providing mutual support.
And then I read Karen Armstrong’s article in the Quarterly Essay [i] titled Dear life on caring for the elderly and was challenged by her take on death:

Friday, 10 July 2015

Naz: part two - show me the money

I love this quote.

I realise talking about money and finances can be pretty boring but I also know, on the flip side, the benefits that can be gained from understanding this sometimes misunderstood commodity.   The Oxford Dictionary’s definition of money is ‘a current medium of exchange in the form of coins and banknotes; coins and bank notes collectively’—a very non-emotive and sterile explanation. But it is the wonderful experiences and material things that money can be exchanged for—for you and others that deliver the real happiness and satisfaction.  Whether it is providing financial security, a safe and nurturing home, giving our kids a helping hand when they need it or better still, when they don’t; having the ability to donate to the charities and causes that move and inspire us; to travel; to play and to create adventures that feed our soul—money is the resource we use to traverse our life and create our goals—it really doesn’t have to be the root of all evil.  Who said that anyway?  In contrast, George Bernard Shaw’s quote ’The lack of money is the root of all evil’ is something to ponder.

So here is part two of the series – show me the money.  I hope

Monday, 6 July 2015

Fiz: Bold solidarity

Don’t you like the feeling of solidarity that you get from women about the same age? The feeling of—hey, we are in this together. The understanding that we need to be supportive of each other isn’t a given, but it is definitely there more often than not. And let’s face it—we do need each other!

Encouragement, insights and compliments from our peers are gold because there is that element of understanding that comes from having lived through a similar number of years. It is a shared experience that can lead to a woman I don’t know giving me a smile or a nod, and the delicious surprise of a compliment. (Note to self: must do this to other women more often!)